trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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