His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he was CRYING into my vagina
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
