Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
