He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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