HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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