its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
