There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
