Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
