rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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