The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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