its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
