You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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