highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
