My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
