But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
