i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize