I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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