This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
