margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
