i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
