Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
