Hey man sorry I got all grabby
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
