I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
