Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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