I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
