Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
