He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
