you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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