I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
