My hand turned me down
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
