yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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