I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
