Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
