thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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