I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
