you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Less talking, more tequila
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
