your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's just like the Real World with babies
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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