it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
