I just made out with a guy for $7.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
