Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
