Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
