My brain says no but my pants say off.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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