she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Blood and glitter go together right?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
