Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
