I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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