Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Randomize
