OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
