He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
