"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
