yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
